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Friday Sermon: The best of you are the best to their women; Lead by example

 The teaching of Islam, which was revealed to the Holy Prophet(sa), provides us with guidance regarding every matter. If every one of us, were to act upon this teaching, a beautiful society could be formed. There are countless commandments in the Holy Qur’an. However, Allah the Almighty says, ‘Verily you have in the Prophet of Allah an excellent model’. Thus, true success can only be achieved, if we put this model before us in every big and small matter.

In view of this, I will now say something regarding the responsibilities of men in various capacities. A man has responsibilities as the guardian of the household and as a husband. He has responsibilities as a father as well as a son. If every man came to understand these responsibilities and tried to fulfil them, it could become a means of peace in the wider society and of the establishment of love and harmony.

Some men, thinking that they have unbridled authority as the head of the house, are engaged in domestic violence and cruelty to children. So, if one wants to carry on treating his wife and children like ignorant people, then there is no benefit in coming into the Bai’at [Oath of Initiation] of the Promised Messiah(as). The Holy Prophet(sa), as the guardian of his family, made his family appreciate first and foremost, the importance of establishing tauheed [Oneness of God]. However, he did so with love and affection, not by force. Thus, Hazrat Aisha(ra) relates that the Holy Prophet(sa) would wake up during the night to offer nafl [voluntary] prayers and he would wake us up with a light sprinkling of water, so that we may offer nawafil and fulfil the responsibilities which are due to Allah. Then, the Holy Prophet(sa) helped with tasks, which were part of the duties of the wives. Hazrat Aisha(ra) relates that he would stitch his own clothes, mend his shoes and repair the household items such as the water bucket etc. Thus, many husbands, keeping these examples in mind, will have to re-evaluate their behaviour at home. Remember the Hadith, “The one from among you is the highest regarding morals and manners who is better in his treatment of his wives.’ Thus, good treatment of wives is the very sign of the greatness of one’s standard of faith.

Regarding the responsibilities of a husband and good treatment of wives, the Promised Messiah(as) states, “Except for indecency, all weaknesses and petulant behaviour of women should be tolerated. I find it absolutely shameful that a man should fight a woman. ….”. Once, the Promised Messiah(as) said that our members [of the Jama’at] should not be harsh and ill-tempered with their wives. The Promised Messiah(as) said, “Once raised my voice against my wife and I immediately refrained from uttering any hurtful and harsh word. I recited a lot of Istighfar [seeking forgiveness] and offered voluntary prayers with great ferventness and gave some charity...”

Thus, those who are unkind to their wives, their faith is in danger. They should be very concerned as the person who is not at the highest standard of faith, can stumble at any time. Admonishing such men, the Promised Messiah(as) says, “If a man is not pious, how then can the wife be pious?” The Promised Messiah(as) further said, “Verily, if a man becomes pious, the wife can also become pious.”

Here I have observed that women are more religious. They complain at times that our husband is not inclined towards religion. They are neglectful of prayers, watch inappropriate and immoral programmes on TV and are negligence in their duties to the upbringing of children. They scold and physically abuse children. In these countries, such issues are brought to the police and give our community a bad name. Furthermore, such people incur worldly punishment as well as the displeasure of Allah the Almighty... Read Full Summary